LoVE LoSt..FrienD gOnE AsTraY

It’s always hard to lose someone dear to you. Sometimes the loss can be so devastating that you feel as if a part of you also tends to lose itself. Is it possible to recover from such a situation?

Over the years, I have lost so many people close to me. In fact, I have come to the point where I have lost track of the people that I still have in my life. Some were lost to cancer and others to so may other fatalities. With these losses, at least you have the assurance that the person will be led in by angels to a better unknown. The worst type of loss is having someone walk out of your life…..when you least expect it.

See, I have always been able to get over things pretty quickly. No, I am not heartless, but I just tend to grieve for a bit and then move on to something more constructive. But recently my greatest downfall was letting my guard down. Just by doing that, it has become impossible to move on. I feel like for the first time I have no shield to protect myself from the harsh reality of feeling pain and getting hurt.

A short time ago, I decided that I was going to take myself out of my friend’s life. I felt that it was the best, if not the right thing to do. But as soon as I uttered the words, I was guilt stricken by my very words and had the uncontrollable urge to reach out and take each word back. Too late! It had been said and I know why I said it. The reasons were so well thought off and if I took my words back, I would only be making matters worse. So I stood by my decision, and now I find that I am paying the price for it…….a very hefty price as well. I feel emptiness…..a void that was once filled by the best person that I had ever known

Will I ever win my friend back? Is there anything that I can say to make things right again? I know people say that the heart grows fonder with absence, but what if I have gone and done it this time and actually made a mess of things. I am filled with fear and the only thing that I have got out of this is that I really do need to start using my nugget before I do anything else. Whether it’s too late, I will never know. I may never see or speak to my friend again, but I do know that I will not make this mistake again. Lesson well learnt!!

Sometimes it’s truly hard to be a good friend. Tough decisions can often put a huge strain on the friendship. Everyone wants to be a friend and sometimes needs a friend, but no one is actually willing to accept the responsibilities attached to being a friend. Therefore, sometimes being a responsible, true friend…..the right thing to do is to just leave. In time, things will eventually find a way to work itself out, and when it comes to pass, a true friend will still be waiting at the of the road with welcoming arms.